The Natives, meaning us Westerners, call it the "Korean Bubble." People don't understand how easy it is to live here. I don't pay rent; I don't have a car; I don't have car insurance; I don't have health insurance; my phone bill is less than $30; I work six hours a day; and I wake up whenever I want. A side note on the health insurance thing: I can go to the doctor for $10 and get my drugs for $5. I can get physical therapy for $15 a session. PHYSICAL THERAPY. In the states, I had to stop going to physical therapy because it cost me $100-150 a session.
We all live in this Bubble and love it so much we don't want to leave. I've met people who have been here anywhere from five to fifteen years. So why do people leave then? When does the magic start to wear off? When does the "strangeness of Korea" become frustrating rather than endearing? I'm not going to answer WHEN any of this happens, but I will tell you that Korea is a strange place.
3. The obsession with plastic surgery here is insane. I have no qualms about plastic surgery. I don't judge anyone who gets plastic surgery. If you're unhappy with something, then why not fix it? My only problem with the plastic surgery here is WHY they want to get it. I'll go on record by saying that Korean women are probably the most beautiful women in the world. They have beautiful hair, full lips, tall, lithe bodies and legs that go on for days. They are a bit high maintenance, yes, but. They. Are. Gorgeous. So what do they want plastic surgery for, then? They want to look more Western. They want the pale skin, the big eyes and the straight pointed nose. They want to look like ME even though I want to look like them. The difference? I sure as hell am NOT going to go to a plastic surgeon to change the shape of my eyes.
4. The Squatty. For those of you who have had the misfortune to encounter one of these, you know why squatties make my list. For one, they smell awful. Two, the whole time you're doing your business, you can't help but freak out about your...business...splashing your feet. I recognize that squatties in Asia are the norm, but in China they were everywhere. At least in Korea, there are generally more toilets than squatties. But let me tell you, I was a pro at using the squatty by the time I left China. The other annoying thing is that you generally have to have your own toilet paper. Carrying tissues is a must here, unless you enjoy shaking it off. I wouldn't exactly call this common, but it certainly happens more than I'd like. So carry tissues. You don't want to get caught without them!
5. Personal space doesn't exist in Korea. If you are in someone's way, they won't hesitate to push you out of the way without a single apologetic glance. This phenomenon is mostly common with the ajumma's here. An ajumma is technically a married woman or a woman who is old enough to get married, but used in every day context, it has a negative connotation. In every day speech, an ajumma is an older woman, with thinning, permed hair, wearing a visor, walking around like she's entitled to everything you have, especially your seat. There have been many incidences in which an ajumma has starting hitting a younger person because they didn't offer them a seat. Number 5 isn't about the ajumma, but it's certainly easy to ramble on about how horrific they can treat people. I asked June why they treated people so horribly, and she said that they worked in the fields during the war. Because they worked so hard, they now feel that in their old age, they are entitled to a whole lot of respect.
Back to personal space issues. It's hard to specify exactly why Koreans push you out of their way, hit you with their bags and don't move out of the way when there's a head on collision coming, but I suspect that it has to do with laziness. If you're in their way, they'd rather continue with their direct path than weave around you. On several occasions, I've been standing, not in the middle of a sidewalk or anything, just standing off to the side, and a Korean walks by and whacks me with their shopping bags. Their line of thinking seems to be that they're going to move only enough that they won't hit you with their body, but anything else is fair game. I guess I should thank them for their consideration.
6. Hagwons. I have to be careful here since I work at a hagwon, but hagwons have the potential to be crazy places. I also have to be careful, because different people have different experiences at hagwons. Some are super hardcore where it's okay to beat the kids or use corporal punishment. Others have classes until midnight. Some are English, math and science; others are just English. There are different combinations of hagwons, so just be aware that I'm only talking about my own. Kids wake up and go to their public school from 8 am - around 2-4 pm, depending on their grade, then they go to hagwons: English hagwons, science hagwons, piano hagwons, math hagwons, tae kwon do...the list goes on. Some of the kids don't get home until 10 pm (these are mostly middle schoolers, though). The most frustrating thing at my hagwon is the constant change. They tell you one thing, then the next week they're telling you something else. It's impossible to get into a routine because you're thrown new orders every week. Nothing is definite, either. I don't know when my vacations are, which is probably the most frustrating thing for me. There aren't any sick days, unless you're dying in the hospital. My hagwon didn't give me health insurance because they apparently asked me if I wanted health insurance and I apparently said no, which is a load of crap. A lot of things are pretty shady, but I really can't complain that much. At least they set me up with a nice, though small, apartment. They pay me on time. They are nice. And even though they don't provide meals for me like other hagwons, we get free snacks every Tuesday and Thursday.
The kids are amazing. I LOVE my kids. Even though I sometimes want to punch them in the face, they're incredible and make teaching completely worth it. The sad thing about hagwons is the high turnover. All my favorite students are now gone.
7. Middle school. The things I hear about middle school come from my middle school girls. I haven't taught at a middle school, so maybe the things they tell me are completely untrue, but from what they've told me, I'm...indignant for one reason in particular: the hair. In some middle schools, they make the girls cut their hair to their shoulders with blunt bangs. If they have naturally brown hair, they make them color their hair black. As for the boys, they also have to dye their hair black and their hair can't be past their ear lobes. Every day the teachers bring out the ruler to see if the girls hair is past 14 cm. I got so heated when the girls told me that. I understand they're going for uniformity, but I can't believe they have to COLOR their hair black. That's all I'm going to say about that because just thinking about it again makes me want to scream. I found this video on youtube that I thought was cute:
8. Yes, people eat dog here. For the dog lovers out there (I'm not particularly one of them), number eight isn't for you. Eating dog isn't that horrifying to me, but because people (foreigners) make such a big deal out of it, I had to include it in my list. It does make me feel slightly sad, but not to the point where I'd go out in the streets of Seoul to protest. Would I try dog? Probably. I've heard it's quite good! There's this soup they make in which the meat is apparently really tender and delicious. When in Rome, right?
9. Spitting / deodorant / fat jokes/ toothpaste : number nine is a combination of the four most annoying things that aren't that big of a deal. I'm not sure that makes a whole lot of sense, but I'll just go with it. The spitting here is disgusting. You'll see this gorgeous woman walking down the street with her heels and Louis Vuitton bags hawk the world's biggest loogie. It's simply frightening. At night I can hear the men spitting. You'll walk down the street and weave to avoid spit on the sidewalk. It's absolutely disgusting.
Koreans don't wear deodorant. Okay, maybe some do, but from what I've experienced, they don't. Since Koreans don't wear any deodorant, it makes life for us sweaty waygookin's (foreigners) difficult. Thanks to my mom, I now have six things of deodorant waiting to be used during the hellish summer that's coming.
The fat jokes come from my kids who don't realize that calling someone fat can get them a broken nose, so I'm mostly forgiving when they call me fat. Mostly. The funny thing is that they act very proud when they tell me in English that I'm fat. Those are the younger kids though. I'm less forgiving them they're older and know better. One time in particular, one of my students Jack called me fat and ugly in a very matter-of-fact way, like it was obvious. My comeback was: "You're ugly, too!" It wasn't my proudest teaching, but everyone laughed, including Jack. After Jack called me fat and ugly, Sally said, "Teacher is thin and beautiful!" So that made me feel better.
The toothpaste here is disgusting. It must have sugar in it or something, which is absolutely counterproductive. It also doesn't have fluoride so the risk of getting cavities is higher. Thanks to my pops, I now have five tubes or good ol' American toothpaste.
10. The men here are outrageously girly. It's a little sad, but also a little cute. I'm ashamed to admit the cute part because it's like admitting you're attracted to women. The men here also touch in the same ways girls do. They put their arms around each other; they hold hands; they fix each other's hair; they even kiss. Again, not all guys are like this, but A LOT of them are. It doesn't bother me so much, but if they did that in America I know everyone would think they were gay, which is pretty unfair. It's refreshing to see guys act so intimate with each other, but is still pretty weird. I found this video on youtube. The band is a popular KPOP group named Super Junior. It's a good example of how comfortable they are...touching...each other!
The "strangeness of Korea" has hit an all-time high for me. I certainly recognize the fact that I'm in a different country and what seems strange to me is considered perfectly normal for a Korean. But because I AM a foreigner and it's strange for me, I compiled a Top 10 list of the things about Korea that annoy me. This is not a "Let's Bash Korea" list by any means. I love Korea. If I didn't, I wouldn't stay here. (In fact, I'm going to write Top 10 "Loves" of Korea). Before I wrote this blog, I did some research and found this article that gave some interesting statistics about Korea:
Get a quick glimpse of Korea in these per capita statistics: Korea leads the world in suicide; in alcohol consumption; in plastic surgery; in traffic deaths; in cigarette smoking; in divorce-rate climb in the past 10 years; in gasoline consumption; in dog-meat consumption; in cellular phones per capita; in broadband Internet connections; in the ``isolation index'' among all Asian immigrants in America; in English-education expenditure per capita….
The truth to these statistics? I'm not sure. All I know is that yes, Korea has an extremely high percentage of suicides per year.
Oh, and the pictures and stuff aren't mine and I do not claim to own them and blah blah blah.
Let's begin:
1. Korea has the highest (maybe second highest) suicide rate in the world. Every article I've read says that suicide is Korea's fourth of cause of death, the first being cancer. Because I don't want to make this any more controversial than it already is, I will only say that the supposed reasons behind Korea's high suicide rate are untreated mental illness and various other social factors such as pressure to do well in school, ridiculous work hours and sexual orientation. I've gotten a taste of Korea's pressure for their kids to excel in school by teaching five and six year olds (babies!) how to speak English, teaching middle schoolers at 9 o'clock at night and getting complaints from parents that I'm not assigning enough homework. Suicide also happens frequently among the celebrities here. One example out of many is Lee Hye-Ryeon:
2. You WILL get stared at if you're a foreigner. The best example of this phenomena was when Nadia and I went to old downtown a couple weekends ago. We were sitting on a bench waiting for Lee Ann when a bus stopped at a stop light. The majority of the passengers craned their necks to stare at us (most of them were middle aged) and weren't ashamed in the slightest about whether we could see them or not. Of course, when Nadia waved at them they pretended to look elsewhere, but after about a minute, they were back to staring. Why do they stare, you ask? I have no idea. I must admit that the majority of the stares come from middle aged people. The Koreans my age pretend I don't exist, and the children...well they often come up to me and start speaking English. It's frightening in a cute, endearing way. The stares mostly make me giggle because of the absurdness of it all, but some days I would like to scream "WHAT?!" at them really loud. A quick glance isn't a big deal, but when you're walking past someone and they deliberately stop and follow you with their eyes and head until you completely pass them is a bit disconcerting. These are my thoughts of course. Maybe foreigners enjoy the stares and neck craning.
On Jan. 21, she was found hanging from a door frame by her grandmother. While no one will ever know the exact reasons for her suicide, according to the Chosun Ilbo, her family believes it was due to a combination of work pressure and well-hidden depression (her family believed it to be under control with anti-depressants). This case is reminiscent of the death of famed Korean actress Lee Eun-joo who killed herself nearly two years ago after suffering severe bouts of depression.
Once these celebrities commit suicide, a domino effect happens in which many fans also kill themselves because their idol committed suicide. So, in America, the deaths of our celebrities are caused by accidental overdoses. In Korea, the deaths of their celebrities are purely intentional. Food for thought.
3. The obsession with plastic surgery here is insane. I have no qualms about plastic surgery. I don't judge anyone who gets plastic surgery. If you're unhappy with something, then why not fix it? My only problem with the plastic surgery here is WHY they want to get it. I'll go on record by saying that Korean women are probably the most beautiful women in the world. They have beautiful hair, full lips, tall, lithe bodies and legs that go on for days. They are a bit high maintenance, yes, but. They. Are. Gorgeous. So what do they want plastic surgery for, then? They want to look more Western. They want the pale skin, the big eyes and the straight pointed nose. They want to look like ME even though I want to look like them. The difference? I sure as hell am NOT going to go to a plastic surgeon to change the shape of my eyes.
I just started teaching these two middle school girls. Both are sixteen years old and are absolutely gorgeous. Both girls however want the eye surgery AND their parents told them that they'd pay for the procedure once they graduate from high school. I was horrified when they told me that they both wanted to get it done and was even more shocked when Kathy went on to list all the procedures she wanted done because she had "wrinkles on her neck" and "bags under her eyes" and a "bump on her nose." Okay, the bump on her nose I can relate to because a lot of people get that part shaved off, but the wrinkles on the neck? The bags under her eyes? Did I mention that she's sixteen? WHAT wrinkles? WHAT bags? Yes, I realize that a lot of people in America get plastic surgery because they want "lips like Angelina Jolie's" or "boobs like Scarlett Johansson." I think this bothers me so much because I find them all beautiful and if they want to change something about themselves that is something that defines them as a Korean, then that makes me sad.
To their credit, many girls do things which don't involve plastic surgery. They paste these lid stickers on their eye lids to hold up their eye lids. Apparently they give the girls the double lid they all seem to want. They also have these contact lenses that make their irises appear bigger. They have this complex about their small eyes, so they do whatever they can to make them look bigger. My middle school girls have written journal entries about what girls will do to change their appearance, and contact lenses is a big one. They say that girls will wear them to school, then take them out because they aren't allowed to wear them. Apparently they can scratch your eyes and damage them permanently, but hey, beauty is pain, right?
Another interesting/sad image issue is the color of their skin. I guess they believe that if they have dark skin, they associate that with working out in the sun. If they work out in the sun, then that means that they're a lower class (Korea is very much about status). So, they use whitening creams or bleach their skin. Shame on you, Nivea.
To their credit, many girls do things which don't involve plastic surgery. They paste these lid stickers on their eye lids to hold up their eye lids. Apparently they give the girls the double lid they all seem to want. They also have these contact lenses that make their irises appear bigger. They have this complex about their small eyes, so they do whatever they can to make them look bigger. My middle school girls have written journal entries about what girls will do to change their appearance, and contact lenses is a big one. They say that girls will wear them to school, then take them out because they aren't allowed to wear them. Apparently they can scratch your eyes and damage them permanently, but hey, beauty is pain, right?
Another interesting/sad image issue is the color of their skin. I guess they believe that if they have dark skin, they associate that with working out in the sun. If they work out in the sun, then that means that they're a lower class (Korea is very much about status). So, they use whitening creams or bleach their skin. Shame on you, Nivea.
4. The Squatty. For those of you who have had the misfortune to encounter one of these, you know why squatties make my list. For one, they smell awful. Two, the whole time you're doing your business, you can't help but freak out about your...business...splashing your feet. I recognize that squatties in Asia are the norm, but in China they were everywhere. At least in Korea, there are generally more toilets than squatties. But let me tell you, I was a pro at using the squatty by the time I left China. The other annoying thing is that you generally have to have your own toilet paper. Carrying tissues is a must here, unless you enjoy shaking it off. I wouldn't exactly call this common, but it certainly happens more than I'd like. So carry tissues. You don't want to get caught without them!
5. Personal space doesn't exist in Korea. If you are in someone's way, they won't hesitate to push you out of the way without a single apologetic glance. This phenomenon is mostly common with the ajumma's here. An ajumma is technically a married woman or a woman who is old enough to get married, but used in every day context, it has a negative connotation. In every day speech, an ajumma is an older woman, with thinning, permed hair, wearing a visor, walking around like she's entitled to everything you have, especially your seat. There have been many incidences in which an ajumma has starting hitting a younger person because they didn't offer them a seat. Number 5 isn't about the ajumma, but it's certainly easy to ramble on about how horrific they can treat people. I asked June why they treated people so horribly, and she said that they worked in the fields during the war. Because they worked so hard, they now feel that in their old age, they are entitled to a whole lot of respect.
Back to personal space issues. It's hard to specify exactly why Koreans push you out of their way, hit you with their bags and don't move out of the way when there's a head on collision coming, but I suspect that it has to do with laziness. If you're in their way, they'd rather continue with their direct path than weave around you. On several occasions, I've been standing, not in the middle of a sidewalk or anything, just standing off to the side, and a Korean walks by and whacks me with their shopping bags. Their line of thinking seems to be that they're going to move only enough that they won't hit you with their body, but anything else is fair game. I guess I should thank them for their consideration.
6. Hagwons. I have to be careful here since I work at a hagwon, but hagwons have the potential to be crazy places. I also have to be careful, because different people have different experiences at hagwons. Some are super hardcore where it's okay to beat the kids or use corporal punishment. Others have classes until midnight. Some are English, math and science; others are just English. There are different combinations of hagwons, so just be aware that I'm only talking about my own. Kids wake up and go to their public school from 8 am - around 2-4 pm, depending on their grade, then they go to hagwons: English hagwons, science hagwons, piano hagwons, math hagwons, tae kwon do...the list goes on. Some of the kids don't get home until 10 pm (these are mostly middle schoolers, though). The most frustrating thing at my hagwon is the constant change. They tell you one thing, then the next week they're telling you something else. It's impossible to get into a routine because you're thrown new orders every week. Nothing is definite, either. I don't know when my vacations are, which is probably the most frustrating thing for me. There aren't any sick days, unless you're dying in the hospital. My hagwon didn't give me health insurance because they apparently asked me if I wanted health insurance and I apparently said no, which is a load of crap. A lot of things are pretty shady, but I really can't complain that much. At least they set me up with a nice, though small, apartment. They pay me on time. They are nice. And even though they don't provide meals for me like other hagwons, we get free snacks every Tuesday and Thursday.
The kids are amazing. I LOVE my kids. Even though I sometimes want to punch them in the face, they're incredible and make teaching completely worth it. The sad thing about hagwons is the high turnover. All my favorite students are now gone.
This is Jacob, my favorite, favorite student. He left last month.
From left to right - Jacob, Allie, Kate, Jamie, Chae-eun, Jenny, Woody and Jason. Out of all these kids, only Jenny, Chae-eun and Jason are left. Chae-eun is now my favorite, favorite even though she isn't my student anymore.
7. Middle school. The things I hear about middle school come from my middle school girls. I haven't taught at a middle school, so maybe the things they tell me are completely untrue, but from what they've told me, I'm...indignant for one reason in particular: the hair. In some middle schools, they make the girls cut their hair to their shoulders with blunt bangs. If they have naturally brown hair, they make them color their hair black. As for the boys, they also have to dye their hair black and their hair can't be past their ear lobes. Every day the teachers bring out the ruler to see if the girls hair is past 14 cm. I got so heated when the girls told me that. I understand they're going for uniformity, but I can't believe they have to COLOR their hair black. That's all I'm going to say about that because just thinking about it again makes me want to scream. I found this video on youtube that I thought was cute:
8. Yes, people eat dog here. For the dog lovers out there (I'm not particularly one of them), number eight isn't for you. Eating dog isn't that horrifying to me, but because people (foreigners) make such a big deal out of it, I had to include it in my list. It does make me feel slightly sad, but not to the point where I'd go out in the streets of Seoul to protest. Would I try dog? Probably. I've heard it's quite good! There's this soup they make in which the meat is apparently really tender and delicious. When in Rome, right?
Koreans don't wear deodorant. Okay, maybe some do, but from what I've experienced, they don't. Since Koreans don't wear any deodorant, it makes life for us sweaty waygookin's (foreigners) difficult. Thanks to my mom, I now have six things of deodorant waiting to be used during the hellish summer that's coming.
The fat jokes come from my kids who don't realize that calling someone fat can get them a broken nose, so I'm mostly forgiving when they call me fat. Mostly. The funny thing is that they act very proud when they tell me in English that I'm fat. Those are the younger kids though. I'm less forgiving them they're older and know better. One time in particular, one of my students Jack called me fat and ugly in a very matter-of-fact way, like it was obvious. My comeback was: "You're ugly, too!" It wasn't my proudest teaching, but everyone laughed, including Jack. After Jack called me fat and ugly, Sally said, "Teacher is thin and beautiful!" So that made me feel better.
The toothpaste here is disgusting. It must have sugar in it or something, which is absolutely counterproductive. It also doesn't have fluoride so the risk of getting cavities is higher. Thanks to my pops, I now have five tubes or good ol' American toothpaste.
10. The men here are outrageously girly. It's a little sad, but also a little cute. I'm ashamed to admit the cute part because it's like admitting you're attracted to women. The men here also touch in the same ways girls do. They put their arms around each other; they hold hands; they fix each other's hair; they even kiss. Again, not all guys are like this, but A LOT of them are. It doesn't bother me so much, but if they did that in America I know everyone would think they were gay, which is pretty unfair. It's refreshing to see guys act so intimate with each other, but is still pretty weird. I found this video on youtube. The band is a popular KPOP group named Super Junior. It's a good example of how comfortable they are...touching...each other!
The murse is VERY popular here. I hesitate calling it a murse because a lot of the time I find myself wondering where they got their purse so I can get my own! It's never good when you're admiring a man's purse. It does get confusing because the men will generally carry their girlfriend's purses, but most of the time they have their own purse to carry. Isn't his bag cute?
The boys below are an extreme example of the girlyness, but they're Top and G Dragon from Big Bang (apparently they're a rap duet sometimes). Guys actually aspire to look like these two. Without the makeup, fur and hair color, they're actually pretty decent looking. I've been on the bus sitting next to a guy who was using his phone as a mirror to fix his hair the whole bus ride, which was 20 minutes. Again, an extreme example, but still. Be a man! They are currently rockin' the Justin Bieber haircut, which I think is adorable, but considering they probably spend more time on their hair than I do...it's a bit of a turn-off.
11. On a whim, I decided to vent about the girls because while they're gorgeous, they can be EXTREMELY annoying. They basically act like babies. They whine. They pout. They wear bows in their hair. They are just so cutesy cute that it makes me want to barf. Below are the Girl's Generation in all their cutesy glory. I guess they're going for sexy cute, but it's exhausting. Really.
So that's my list. Don't be sensitive and take offense to anything I've written. I really do love Korea, but things can get to you after a while after living in a foreign country. Next on my list: Top 10 loves!
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