Curse of 24

The Number 23 was an awesome movie, just like the age 23 was an awesome age. It horrifies me that I have to speak in the past tense about the age 23. My birthday was a whole three weeks ago, so I've had three whole weeks to digest what turning 24 really means. I haven't had a nervous breakdown about turning 24 because it really isn't that old or anything, but it certainly has helped me focus on the things I need to do and has made me recognize all the awesome things I've already done.
To be honest, the thing that freaks me out the most is the fact that I've been in Korea for almost eight months already and I don't have a whole a whole lot to show for it. I can't even read Korean. It's downright shameful.
So where has my life gone? I've certainly done some things, like travel, but that's pretty much it. Oh, and I've paid off my credit card. I'm definitely proud of that. I still have time, though. It's not like my life is ending. Not to be corny, but I'm also pretty proud of me. I sincerely feel okay. Every time I think about how I was in Austin, I feel like that was a different person. A black cloud will always be over Austin, which is sad, because Austin is an incredible city. I miss Austin a lot but I'm not sure I could live there again.
Back to turning 24. I didn't gain any wisdom overnight. I didn't acquire any great knowledge. I'm just me. I guess a birthday is that day every year that makes you hyper aware of all your failures and accomplishments. It's like New Years Day, but it's worse because it makes you feel like you're running out of time. For the past couple years, I've felt like I've been racing against some invisible sand clock. I feel like Jasmine in the huge hourglass in Aladdin. There's so much I want to do, but it never seems to get done. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I don't use my time wisely or something. It's frustrating because time keeps slipping away from me and there's nothing I can do to get it back. I've always thought that my biggest problem was planning too far ahead, but I really think my problem is simply planning. I can plan trips like nobody's business, but heaven forbid if I have to plan my life. The one decision I've sincerely made for myself was coming to Korea. A decision for me, without thought for anyone else. Perhaps it was selfish, but I feel like it's the best decision I've made in a long, long time. Everything else has pretty much been dictated for me, or has been influenced by thoughts of how it will affect other people. I guess I chose which college I wanted to go to, but that turned out to be a complete disaster. I guess it's understandable that I don't exactly trust myself to make important life decisions. It's a double-edged sword of the worst kind. I don't want people to make decisions for me, but when I make them for myself, I get screwed.
So what to do? Can I let a Magic 8 Ball make my decisions? Tarot cards? Fortune tellers? The creepy fortune telling machine at the arcade? No, no, no, and no.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is a 3:00 AM rambling.